An Unfortunate Event

Well, half term just finished and I went to Lagos for the week. (It was my last half term EVER before I go off to university sob sob!) It was good fun, I got to see my friends and family and eat some home cooked food mmmhmm. lol. Oh, and I cooked okro soup! For the first time! It might not be a big achievement to all but I get easily excited.lol.

I bet you're thinking, 'so what is this unfortunate event? Naij is a good thing right?' Yessss Nigeria is a good thing but...

Okay, let me start from the beginning. I woke up and it was a day like any other day. I should shower, eat and do revision but I'm a serial procrastinator and just lay there with my eyes half closed. ZING ZING...my phone. A text from one of my best friends Dolapo. 'Get up and get ready, I will be at urs in an hour, we are going to Thursday showers.Pls pls pls don't be late'

Riiiiite.

I love Dolz, and I always will do but lately she has been getting all overly christian. I love God as much as the next person who has been brought up in a christian household, but I hate it when people shove religion down my throat! When did I tell Dolly that I wanted to follow her to church? She used to be my partner in crime. Now she has joined discipleship school. Discipleship school I tell you!!

I sigh, get up, shower, and get ready. I don't want to argue with Dolapo, she is the MASTER of guilt tripping. Besides, I don't have any other plans, and it will be good to get some fresh air. Also, Church is good rite?

Dolly gets in just as I finish. 'Oh em Roses, theresnocarsowehavetotakeabus,isthatok?awsomeletsgo'

I'm like 'yer what?' what is she saying? Dolly only talks so fast when she is nervous or excited and she may be all holy holy but I cant see whats so exciting about Thursday showers. 'Repete sil vous plait. S L O W L Y'

Dolly takes a deep breath ' There's no car so we have to take a bus, but don't worry its fine, I take one in unilag everyday and I want you to see what its like.'

Silence
Dolly is looking at me nervously...I'm chewing on my bottom lip, thinking.

Iv never been on a bus in Nigeria before. This would be an experience...one I know my mother wants me to have. Dad wont be too pleased though. Dolly's an expert...how exciting! I'm scared though...but I'm no chicken, I can do it!

'Woop woop, I'm in!'

According to Dolly, my mum has been asking her to take me on a BRT...
We walk to the bu stop...ooooooh shit, we arent taking a BRT. Dolly squeezes my hand reassuringly. 'You go in first' she says.

'What if someone touches me?'

'Go to the back'

'Dress dress!' somebody says. Well, I know what that means. I smile to myself as i shuffle so Dolly can sit closer to me. I squeal in her ear 'I'm in a Danfo!' She smiles 'Its not so bad is it?'
'Maybe it isn't'
I look around. There is a very smelly person in front of me. I wave my hand in front of my nose whilst informing Dolapo that I'm going to get her one of those hand held fans. She nods patronisingly. There is a dangerous looking blue wire hanging down from the roof of the bus, stopping perilously close to my cheek. I gulp and open a window. Before I know it, we're there!

Dolapo steps down first and walks to the gate. She turns around and looks at me. I'm just at the door of the bus. The next 20 seconds is a blur.
'Roses, Roses!!!!!' Dolly screams.

In my panic, I think she is telling me to hurry out of the bus, that its going to leave with me still in it. Where the fuck would I be then?! I rush down and then...

Boom, an okada hits me, in the right thigh.

The okada driver is short, very dark, sweaty and balding. He scowls at me, like its my fault. My head is reeling, from the shock. Dolapo rushes to my side and clutches me. The gateman/mayguard type person says are you ok?
The okada mans passenger says 'Sorry oh' as the driver zooms off into the wind.

By now, my brain is working again. Dollz and I walk in through the gate.
'Are you ok?'

I moan.
I'm actually fine, it was a mere bump. I have sustained worse injuries fighting with my sister. But now, I have leverage to guilt trip Dolly forever. Muahahaha.

I cant believe I got hit by an OKADA!!!
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