Intercourse

Fornication sounds horrible! Like some kind of disease...Sex sounds sultry and seductive...Fucking sounds unemotive, hardcore and distanced. Making love sounds slightly gay. I prefer to use slightly less serious words like bonk or shag which bring in an element of humour to a delicate topic.

I am a christian so up until I was about 16, I felt that No Sex Before Marriage was the way forwards. Soon I started having doubts...was it actually possible? My friends laughed at me...they had no issues, they were white. Their parents gave them the talk and a condom and off they went. Tbh, I thought it sounded kind of icky. Then I began to get adventurous...and horny.

My mum told me countless times that it wasnt worth it. I was to wait till marriage and that was final. She also told me that she didnt think oral sex was right....shows how much she knew. I had been with my boyfriend for 6months. We told each other everything. I was an adult, capable of making my own descisions. I thought it was love...but I was still in charge. I could kick him to the curb anytime I felt like it! Plus I was 18...time was running out. He told me he wanted to have sex, I told him I dint care. I had to think about it. It was a big step to take. He said he meant make love. I laughed and told him to shut up. My hormones were raging. Every time we saw we would take things a little further. Deep kisses, clothes off, intimate touching, knickers off. Apart from the holidays we hardly ever saw each other because I go to a boarding school. When we did see, he set my blood on fire. We spoke every night... it was 'love'.

So we had sex. No...we fucked. He fucked me... it felt odd. Penetration was not particularly pleasant...not too painful, and there was no blood. I had my eyes open. His 'sex face' would have been comical at any other moment. I didnt think it was right to laugh. 'Roses are you sure your a virgin?' he asked after a few vigorous thrusts. At that exact moment I knew I wouldnt stay with him. How dare he? He had just taken something from me, something special and I wanted it back.

Afterwards he asked how it was for me. 'Amazing' I replied unconvincingly. We broke up three weeks later. Then I found out he had been cheating. He cheated on me after I gave him what I now realise was very precious. I didnt cry, I almost never cry and I wouldnt cry over him. He apologised...Im past caring, but he is still a bastard.

Months later my mum asks, 'What ever happend to that guy?'
'We broke up, irreconsilable differences' I laugh.
Mum says 'How would you have felt if you had ended up sleeping with him Roses?'
I reply ' Used, upset, disappointed' the list is endless.
Mum nods 'You see. Isnt it good to listen to your mother?'

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